I hate that the dawgs had to lose to the vols tonight. But I am so thankful that we have the broadcasting personnel we have. Thank you in particular to Jeff D@ntzler for not being this tool. He makes rednecks seem like Fulbright Scholars.

Everyone freak out right now.

Punch and pie

The following pie chart will illustrate how I have spent my workday so far.

This makes me angry. This also makes me just a little more libertarian (small "L") than I was yesterday.

Gdodanmitmohterfcukignsihtsas!

Fastest Gun in the Mid-South

I am wiped. Some quick bullets, then bed.

• For my trip south, I bought a couple of albums that I felt like I should know but didn't. One of them, Stand Still, L00k Pretty by the Wreckers, is the best sounding album that I can remember in the genre in a long time. If you like modern country music but want something a little less predictable than most of what you hear on the radio, this is it.

The bad news is that their language is a little more honest than most of what you hear on the radio. So those of you with kids may want to listen before playing it with the yoots around. And considering what the target market is for this type of music, that may be a mistake.

• From the "No, I'm Not Kidding" Desk: The new B0n J0vi album is getting its final mix right now, and it will reportedly be marketed as a country album. Those of you with Apocalypse Meters should keep those things close by. If you hear anything, call me immediately. I'll need a head start.

• It (the air, that is) is supposed to get down to 18 degrees tonight.

• The new clothes dryer arrives tomorrow morning. It will be nice not to have to drive to Marietta to do laundry. The Bean's honesty and blogging consistency are noted and acknowledged by way of the link on your right (my left).

• Gee-em-ee-YAY! was great. Several people have mentioned this already, but I always enjoy getting to see old friends and colleagues, including Big Oob, Alan, Wolfe, and Erik. Gentlemen, it is always a pleasure to spend time with you. On the way there and on the way back I got in a little bit of time with Kit, Russ, and GeorgiaGirl as well.

I have probably said it before, but I believe that any existence that is remotely just has to end with the good people around the people they care about. Days like the last few remind me of that. I really hope that's the way it is.

More soon.

"Can't take your call; I'm at the office" and "Blue Monday"

Tomorrow, I head back to Georgia for Gee-em-ee-YAY! Russ is going to host me for the Ge0rgia-K.Y. hoops game tomorrow night. By mid-day Thursday, I'll be in Savannah eagerly anticipating a trip to the office with many of my friends. I'm sure that there will be many stories to tell, and that none of them will be bloggable.

In case you aren't aware, Blue Monday was yesterday. I am not sure if Blue Monday is always on a Monday or if it's the Monday nearest 1/23, or what, but it is supposed to be blue and one supposes that it is frequently on a Monday. Daly referenced it last year. And for the record, the Cure doesn't even care.

I can believe that one of these here few days is the downest one of the year. It has been more difficult than normal to motivate, and it does seem like it's (the sky, that is) dark all the time. In addition, my DVD player decided to quit working exactly when its warranty expired. Plus, remember that dryer that I "fixed?" Yeah. No, I didn't. It's dead again, and about to join my coffee maker in appliance hell.

Oddly, I am not that bothered by the fact that things seem down. Maybe it's a maturity that separates emotion from reality. Maybe it's that I will be around dear friends soon. Maybe it's that I really didn't want to see the DVD's I had here anyway. Maybe I have just become so cynical that I believe that it doesn't matter if things suck.

Regardless... When this time of year hits, I am reminded of the words of philosopher/meteorologist Phil C0nnor who said:

When Chekh0v saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of h0pe. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter.

And then I taste vomit.

The B-section of the theme is priceless

... and it was written by Georgia's own Steve D0rff.

The Answers

In spite of Erik and Will's worst fears, I have returned from Alabama safely. As promised, here are the answers to Wednesday's quiz:

1. Brett

2. Brett

3. Shaft

4. Possibly you, Janie Runaway

5. Brett

The only person answering all five questions correctly is Dr. Knight. Congratulations to all of the players...

...except one. Due to the gross misconduct of one player, I have been forced to engage in retaliatory action. I have only one weapon of use against this reprobate: name-calling. Thus, I have changed Gunner's handle in the blog roll to your right (my left). Find it, laugh, then call him this the next time you see him. You'll be glad you did.

PS - Those of you who were students in the SOM in the 1990's should remember the name of the person in this article.

A Quiz!

1. Who, today, repaired his dryer by himself?

2. Who would love to take credit for knowing how to fix it, but actually owes his dad big time for fixing it the first time?

3. Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks?

4. Who gets to spend her birthday in Spain?

5. Who is driving to Alabama tonight for a couple of days at a conference?

Comment with your answers. The correct answers will be posted on Saturday. I predict only Knight will get all of the answers correct.

Okay, 24 fans. I get it now. I'm hooked. Hope you're happy.

I had a miniature freakout earlier tonight when I thought for a split second that 24 and Studi0 60 would be on at the same time (Raise your hand if you don't have a dvr). Then I calmed down.

Lame

For a week that started out with me sick and not sure if I would get anything done, it has turned out to be quite productive. In the spirit of not interfering with continuing productivity (and with apologies to Tony), I offer the following very carefully selected list of keywords from searches that resulted in hits on this site over the last few months. I generally only get 60-120 hits per day, and I'm generally pretty cautious about publishing terms which might result in the wrong person stumbling across my blog. So I don't have a huge list of odd terms like "Anal Bum Cover" (though I will now). In spite of that, some strange or not so strange searches have led people here. And I, in turn, drive them all to drink. Enjoy.

male desires
male thoughts
intense desires
ambivalence
"had my back" what does it mean
brad barnes, white fever
lyrics+bulldog bounce by shamrock
randymart
i'm picking up a thermos for you
ZZZZZZZZZZ sleep origin
goldschlager athens
athens "meat square"
Howie Mandel's coping skills
Hyatt chattavegas
"MAKE ME WRITE BAD CHECKS" lyrics
kenny l0ggins
"matt Tinnell"
intense gyms atlanta,ga
Brett Tuscaloosa
breast nicknames
Ron White comedian Missoula
interceive
brad warren
how much skoal to use how often

Georgia fans... Please remember the comment in paragraph 6 of this article on September 9, 2007. We'll make sure you know his jersey number by that time.

This quote was on Letterman tonight. Somehow, I have missed it all these years. Am I the only one?

"You can take a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

Look what arrived in the mail

It actually arrived last week. I've got this damn cold I can't shake, and I was all down in the puss about it until I remembered that this had arrived. So here it is.


As the sender described it, "Suitable for framing!"

Thanks to Knight for the art. He doesn't just send these to anyone you know. You have to ask him nicely.


Photo: jacknicholson.org

The Big Ten is who we thought they were

41-14.

Wow. I really didn't see that coming. I thought Florida would win by 10 or so. But damn. Just damn (I swear I wrote this before PWD posted this.). Here are some game thoughts from someone who tends to leave things as important as this up to the experts.

Scheduling the title game tonight was a serious gaffe. The amazing momentum for the college game that built from the excitement of the other BCS games completely dissipated days ago. The compelling twists and turns provided by the NFL Wild Card games and the coaching carousel were very much in the air and the air waves all day today. Sports talkers were far too busy bantering about Romo's mishandled snap, Brady's post-season mojo, and Vick's questionable future on a Petrino-led Falcons team to give any weight to a game that has already been analyzed, over-analyzed, and put to bed in the thirty-seven days since we have learned who would be playing in it. It makes the college game look like a stepchild to the pro game, when most devotees consider the college game to be superior in many ways.

I enjoy Fox Sports broadcasts of NFL Football. The talent is great. The production is exciting and professional, if at times a bit cheesy. The Fox broadcast of college football, on the other hand, has lacked something. I assumed they would fix this for the title game, but they didn't. The broadcast title "Bowl Bash," for instance, causes me to expect fairway games, moon walk bubbles, and pink lemonade to be in steady supply for the game. Plus, the talent calling the game was bush league. J0e Buck should have been on this. Again, the college game is treated as a stepchild.

As far as the game itself, this was a meteor game if there ever was one (Sarah S. would definitely not feel that way, as her dad went to tOSU). I pulled against Ohio State and the Big Ten. Rarely has more noise been made by so many about so little. I also had to pull against the Fl0rida Gat0rs. All Fl0rida Gat0rs are miserable people. All of them. Period. That they own the football and men's basketball titles can only spread that misery.

On the other hand, the result of the Georgia-Florida game immediately following the last Gator national title gives me a little bit of hope. I'll take every little bit of it I can get when it comes to them.

So get your earplugs ready. You'll be hearing the chomp for at least the next nine-and-a-half months. And long before then, you'll hear the Big Ten hype start again.

R.I.P. Explorer 1998-2006

I wasn't holding out, but it is high time that I tell you about my recent vehicle exchange.

My first car was a White 1989 Mazda MX-6. It did the job, but not without some serious oil-burning and other complications. After I finished undergrad, my parents decided that I needed something else if I was going to go back to grad school rather than enter the real world.

Enter the 1995 Explorer Sport. This vehicle was fan-damn-tastic. The mileage was okay for an SUV, but it ran like a pro. The only problems with it were that it tended to get dirty and it tended to run into things. Other than that, it was far more reliable than I ever should have expected.

When I graduated with my MM, my parents gave me the title as my graduation gift. It was the first major item that I have ever owned on paper. In spite of my failure to keep it tidy, I did take care of it where it counted (this could be used as a euphemism if the subject of this entry weren't a car). Over the last six months or so, the age of the vehicle began to make itself heard. After learning that the cost to maintain the vehicle over the next year would be similar to the amount I would pay on a new car, we decided it was time for something new.

So, I offer a few statistics and the final pictures of the trusty Explorer.

• Amount of time it spent in my possession: 8 years, 10 months, 15 days
• Number of miles added to the odometer in that time: 133,070
• Number of times the Explorer struck a foreign object: 2
• Number of bloggers linked to your right (my left) who rode in the Explorer: 9
• Number of times someone I didn't know entered the Explorer and removed something of value: 2
• Number of states in which the Explorer travelled when in my possession: 9
• Approximate number of days prior to my move when the Explorer did not contain a random RCB drill chart: 3




Solid.

As guilty as I felt when I drove away and as much as I liked that vehicle, it is hard to feel bad when the wheels don't make a vibrating sound and the passengers aren't propelled into the ceiling when you hit a speed bump. Such is the case when I'm driving this...





It's an '07 Civic EX Coupe. As much as I have protested buying brand new cars in the past, the break in interest rates made it less expensive than a used car.

So here it is. Here's hoping I get to take you along for a ride some time soon. Here's also hoping it works out half as well as the previous car.

My Belated Year In Review

I'm back in Nashville, and I am going to chip away at those things I have been intending to blog one at a time. Up first is 2006 in Review, with apologies to Galarza.

The Year in Numbers
• Number of people I dated: 1
• Number of times we broke up: 2
• Number of partial or complete horn books I wrote: 12
• Net increase/decrease in income versus that when I was employed by my previous employer: approximately 0
• Number of miles driven: about 17,000
• Number of days I smoked: 181
• Number of days I didn't: 184
• Number of Georgia Football games I attended: 6
• Georgia's home or bowl record when I was in attendance: 4-2
• Georgia's home or bowl record when I was not in attendance: 2-1
• Percentage points of fat I had lost three months after joining the gym: 8
• Percentage points of fat I regained between the beginning of football season and today: 3.4
• Number of most consecutive days I spent outside Nashville: 21
• Number of most consecutive days I spent in Athens: 21
• Number of books purchased or received: 19
• Number of those books I have started: 10
• Number of those books I have finished: 6


Travels and Travelers

Cities in which I spent significant time in 2006:
• Nashville
• Greater Atlanta
• Athens
• Chicago, IL (twice!)
• Columbia, MO
• Clinton, SC
• Bowling Green, KY
• Charlotte, NC
• Washington, DC
• Tuscaloosa, AL
• Savannah

People who visited me in Nashville (overnight stay not required):
• Russ (twice)
• Russ and Ellen
• Ki (twice)
• Adam H. (twice)
• Scorley
• Gunner
• Barnes
• Warren
• Will and Natalie
• Traci
• Candy
• Bowling Green
• J. Delk

Material Belongings

Stuff I bought:
• A laptop with portable MIDI controller (lets me work on the road)
• ProTools and a portable ProTools interface
• DVD Player
• A blender
• A Georgia Bulldogs Baseball jersey
• A bed
• A humidifier
• A car

Stuff I considered buying but didn't:
• Vonage
• A DVR
• A new guitar (imminent)

Influences

Books:
• The World is Flat
• The Tipping Point
• Freakonomics
• God's Politics
• The Fair-Tax Book

Movies/DVDs
• Closer
• United 93
• Little Miss Sunshine
• Borat
• The Village
• The Godfather
• Tom Dowd and the Language of Music
• V for Vendetta

Music
(honestly, there was very little)
• Beethoven
• Buddy Rich
• Miles Davis

Stuff I realized
• My dad is sick, and I need to appreciate the time I spend with him.
• Having my family close by may be much nicer than I once thought.
• It's hard to become financially secure working for someone else.
• I have never exercised and felt worse because of it. The converse is also true.
• Drinking is sometimes not worth the hangover. Sometimes it is.
• The odds are horrible, but if you are great they are the only thing you have to beat.
• Life is way shorter than I had ever realized before. That things aren't going perfectly for you right now doesn't mean that the whole world has gone to shit for all time.
• It often really isn't what you're selling but how you sell it.
• Sometimes the process of acheiving the right result wrongs individuals. I hate that.

Things I will consider in the new year
• I will probably find some things I don't have if I will look for them.
• I need to worry less about results and more about doing things consistently, uniquely, and in the right way.
• I might need to act like an adult a little more often, but that doesn't mean I have to think like one.
• Less drama. Always less drama.

Back Home Tomorrow

Today is my last full day in Georgia. While I'm actually around the people I care about rather than virtually around the people I care about, I have obviously not spent a great deal of time blogging. I'm still going to fix that soon, but not tonight. In the mean time, here is the view from where I am. Also know that my parents are sitting to my right as healthy as can be expected, and it is very warm.