"We were young and we were improving" - John Cougar Mellencamp

I have returned to the Patch after a killer weekend in C0lumbia with MDK and the Mizz0u Band. I will first offer some statistics and then a brief recap of the activities.

Total number of miles traveled from Nashville to Columbia and back: 936
Number of those miles traveling approximately 10 mph behind a tractor in rural Illinois: 2.5
Driving time from Nashville to Columbia: 8 hours 10 minutes
Driving time from Columbia to Nashville: 7 hours 54 minutes
Total travel time if the phrase “I’ll be there in two seconds” were true: ≈4 seconds
Number of seconds I listened to the radio on the return trip: 0
Number of Eisenhower Interstate Highways traveled: 5 (65, 24, 57, 64, 70)
Number of significant rivers crossed: 5 (Cumberland, Tennessee, Ohio, Mississippi, Missouri)
Number of times I said “At the end of the day” after resolving to stop saying that: 13
Number of nights in Columbia: 3
Number of nights we had drinks and dinner at the Heide|berg: 3
Final score of the UT-MU game if the teams had been reversed: MU 51, UT 20
Seconds I had visual contact with MDK upon arrival in Columbia before hearing the phrase “Yeah, man”: 0
Number of phone calls I made to friends as the MU Band was playing, in hopes they could hear the band playing my charts: 5
Number of Georgia-Vanderbilt games I will be attending this year, due to losing my judging gig in Atlanta: 1

Here are the details.

I left Nashville some five hours after I had planned to leave, due to some late night writing and recording and some early (ha!) morning errands. MDK sent directions, and I hadn’t looked at a map in weeks, so I simply followed his email. Up 65 through town, to 24 North through Paducah. I was looking very intently for I-57. I crossed a bridge and saw a sign that said “Welcome to Illinois.” Being somewhat deficient in my Midwestern geography, I reacted in a way that might best be classified as “violently horrible panic.” I pulled off at the nearest rest stop to find that I was indeed on the right path, and almost stopped and saw this in Metropolis, IL.

On I traipsed to I-64 West, and suddenly found myself in the middle of gigantic cornfields and flat land in rural southern Illinois. I had, of course, seen this on TV and from the air. But I had never driven through it. It’s real… I promise, and it’s amazing.

I approached St. Louis at sunset with plans to drive through the city regardless of traffic, just to see the sites. I got several amazing glimpses of the arch (the other arch), the old and new Busch Stadia, and several other cool landmarks. That is a really great drive. If you have the means, I highly recommend it.

I continued on I-70 to Columbia. Upon arrival I went with MDK to this place for drinks and dinner. He led me back to his house (he actually owns a house) which is very cool. His garage is all organized. He has an island in his kitchen, and there are no random items on the floor. It’s like a real house and stuff. Then it was time to call it a night, which oddly enough, it was.

I woke the next morning to a phone call explaining that a band for which I had written had entered the competition I was to judge in Atlanta on the 15th, so I was disqualified from judging. #$%^&*()#%. That was going to be a wonderful time to spend with one of the great human beings of this epoch, not to mention a chance to put a nice bit of change in my pocket. MDK then gave me the $10 tour of Columbia, which included a trip to eat lunch here for some of the best pizza I have had in years. We also went to the mall, where I purchased the 3rd pair of sunglasses I have bought in the last month.

After a quick trip “to the house,” we went to band. The band is wonderful. They learn quickly, play very musically, and march a lot of different styles very well. Some of the things that I wasn’t really sure would translate to a university band in a brief amount of rehearsal time were done better than I could have expected anyone to have performed them. Not to mention the fact that they are simply fun, hard-working university band students – my favorite kind of people. Incidentally, I got to hear MDK give one of the great all time bitch-out lines to the band in a moment of (their) brainfartedness: “I will not allow you to perform the signature moves of this band in that manner.” Nice.

After rehearsal, MDK and I joined this legend (read halfway down and MDK is mentioned by Br@ndt in this interview) and his son, yes, at the Berg for drinks and dinner. I have heard that voice on shows since I was 14 years old, and was thrilled to get the chance to sit and get to know him a bit. It was almost totally surreal and very cool.

Gameday. 7:00 am downbeat. Ugh.

We were first to the field. Once the students arrived and the section warm-ups began, I was tickled to see the tubas wake the inhabitants of a Tex@ss RV with their warm-up. I also enjoyed the “You’re late” exercise that the drumline performed for anyone who arrived after the published call time.

Rehearsal went well and we were off to the game. The only thing I will say about the game is that the band was wonderful. You can read the rest online. Well, and this. College football is the most fun when you have a team to root for. I felt bad for MU, and yes, took the defeat a bit personally. Not like I take a Georgia loss personally (ruins an entire month), but I felt like an MU fan. I think I am.

Amy joined us after the game. We caught a good bit of the AL-FL ars-whooping and the close ISU-NEB game. Then we were off to, yes, the Berg once again for dinner and drinks and drinks. I met more of MDK’s friends there, and they were strangely like people I would have expected to meet and befriend at Georgia.

A little SNL and we were out again. We rose at a decent hour and had breakfast and the newly opened (and first!) W@ffle H0use in Columbia.

Around noon, I headed back to the Patch with: at least one cup each from the Berg, Sh@kespeare’s, and the stadium; a shirt from the Berg; roughly $75 of Mizz0u gear; the first booty in the Great South-Midwest Beer Exchange of 2005; many many unforgettable memories; and the wish to go back soon.

There really is no place like home, and by that I mean home home (for me, Athens). But spending a bit of time in Columbia gave me a better understanding of why MDK loves it there so much. After watching the way that the TX people insisted that their way was the only way, then experiencing the joy and unique virtues of someone else’s home, I hope I have never insisted that mine was the only way. I felt very comfortable and welcome in Columbia, and I really do hope I get to go back sometime soon. And I have a little better understanding of what home is.

And of course, it was just perfect to get to see my old friend, and watching him do what he does best.

Miz-z0u-rah and Go Dawgs.