These years...

Half a decade has passed since I have written here, and for good reason. My last post marked the end of our time in Marietta and our return to the Athens area. So much has changed. So, so much has changed. So much has been won, damaged, ignored, celebrated, examined, and done. Yet so much is ahead. And I have learned, in some very hard ways, to make sure I receive the lessons given to me by the experiences I have had (or haven't):

• When you give yourself away, you actually have to give. It's not enough to be there (though that would be a good start).

• Style of delivery matters. When we speak harshly, the receiver's soul is pierced. When things are really important, we want to pierce the soul. When they're less important, a massage or a pat on the butt can work wonders. But man, it's tough to manage your tone when you're stressed or hurt, tired or hungover, pissed or embarrassed.

• Most of the time, our bodies don't need nearly as many chemicals as we put in them. It can be very hard to be yourself when your body doesn't feel like it should.

• I thought I had some understanding of love before we had our daughter. I was wrong.

• We all like to think that we're independent. Some of us actually are. But most of us can be made much better by believing and being believed in by someone special to us.

• The worst failures in our lives aren't those of judgement or willpower. They are failures of imagination, the failure to grow, the failure to be our best, and the failure to accurately express ourselves to the people who need to know precisely how we feel.

• We usually think of "having a filter" as being able to manage what we say. But the filter behind the ear is at least as important. Knowing what to believe, what to reinterpret, and what to discard can make a profound difference in the outcomes of our lives.

• I have cried a good bit in my life. But I have never cried like I did when I realized that I hadn't been completely open when it mattered. I am never going to let that happen again.

• We are supposed to explode, to experience ecstasy, and to revel in the harmless mess it surrounds us with. Anything that keeps you from being that, from being uninhibited needs to be addressed as a matter of dire importance. We only get to do this once, and we'd better experience being universal while we can.

• This one comes from a friend... If you have the courage to take a bullet for someone you love, then you sure as hell have the courage to tell the truth, argue, and makeup with some enthusiasm.

• Lastly for today, here's a little wisdom from late night: It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention. - Conan O'Brien