Outlet Malls, Face, and Mierda Breath

• Upon arriving at my folks house on Wednesday afternoon, my mother took me to the outlet mall and bought clothes like I was just about to experience my first day of middle school. I was a bit confused, as the butt cut and mousse were nowhere to be found, but I was and am grateful nevertheless. No details were available at press time, but let’s just say that I now have jeans and shoes that don’t make me look like the son of a crackwhore.

• My brother was away all weekend, as most junior pilots at major airlines will tend to be over the Thanksgiving holiday. My sister-in law opted to keep my three nephews at my parents’ house on Wednesday and Thursday. That gave me a lot more time to hang out with them.

The middle nephew, who is 2 (and a half) seemed to cling to me more than usual which (as all uncles and aunts know) is a particularly cool thing. He became somewhat obsessed with my iPod. So I played him a few of my own songs, making clear that they were mine. Then I played him a song that I can’t quit thinking about (“Fix Y0u,” by C0ldplay), making clear that it was not mine. He 1) began to identify the song as “Face” because of the big chorus at the end, and 2) began erroneously identifying the song as “Uncle Brett’s Song” by the time I left Friday morning. Sister-in-law snapped pictures of him today:

1) Listening to his “iPod” and Uncle Brett’s Song...


2) ...and calling me on a fake cell phone to tell me about it.


• GeorgiaGirl briefly recounts our game of kickball with great old Redc0at friends on Friday afternoon. All I will say is that I am somehow still sore, in that good sort of way that causes you to laugh every time you have to use your hands to lift your leg off of the clutch while driving 85 mph (that’s “miles per hour,” Tech grads). I can’t wait to spend time with all of those friends again. I really really miss them, and more so now than I would ever have thought when I was in school.

• Great weekend… hell, anytime you beat a particularly irritable, feisty, and drunk Tech fandom it’s going to have been a good weekend.

• Today’s drive back to Nashville was unnecessarily long once again, thanks to ridiculous traffic in Chattanooga, of all places. Between this and a couple of unfortunate retail experiences, I created a complex plan of fighting back against:
- gas stations with no parking and disgusting restrooms
- counties that completely refuse to address their traffic issues when the only things that should be causing them are rushes of visitors to a now second-rate aquarium and closing time at the Kryst@l Corporate Headquarters, and
- State Police who refuse to address transport vehicles breaking significant traffic laws on major interstate mountain passes, causing accidents which result in twenty mile traffic jams three days after Thanksgiving.

This plan, certain to shock a nation*, was to be (probably incorrectly) called “Lista de la Mierda." However, the American economy can thank me, as cooler heads have prevailed, and I will now sleep on my decision whether or not to rock the economic boat in pursuit of better traffic, toilet seats free of human waste, and properly stocked coffee cups at convenience stores everywhere. Tonight, a nation waits with baited breath.**

* - Not really.
** - That phrase makes me think of, well just really bad breath.