Waiting for you

First of all, go here and watch what Sarah sent with the sound at a reasonable volume at a time when you aren’t at work. Cute.

I had a pretty serious debate with a dear friend a couple of weeks ago about whether or not everything happens for a reason... you know, why do great parents get killed in car accidents, why do wonderful people develop Parkinson’s Disease, why do the nicest and most talented people get mugged when doing what amounts to charity work, why do people kill each other? I have mulled over that statement for some time and have come to no conclusion that makes me feel any better. There are at least two ways of thinking about this, and a third that is probably the most accurate.

Obviously, everything does happen for a reason. That is, there is no effect that takes place without cause. That’s not what people mean when they say that, but it is what the phrase literally means. I knows, I’m a smartass.

A second way of thinking about it is to believe that whoever thought all this Existence stuff up has a gigantic blueprint. And on this blueprint is a ginormous flowchart of causes and effects. And each of the effects, even the ones that are perceived as negative to an individual, have lines that lead from themselves to further effects. In other words, the thing people really mean when they say “Everything happens for a reason” is that each effect is also a cause for a later event that theoretically fulfills a part of the blueprint and hopefully (if the Architect is just, within our perception anyway) leads to the greatest possible outcome for one’s life.

I don’t know if this is true. I won’t get into religion too deeply here, but it does seem odd that those who say that everything happens for a reason usually also subscribe to a belief system that accepts free will as a given. Well, free will pretty much removes the possibility that everything happens for a reason. However, not all events are caused by the deeds of humans, so it is possible that some bad things do indeed happen for a reason designed by something greater than us. It does make me feel a little better to think that at least those negative truths can bear positive results.

There is however a third, but backwards, way of thinking about this. That is that sooner or later each of our stories will be finished, and someone will hopefully care enough about us to remember our story and to pass it along to someone who never got to know us, but would benefit from knowing about us (ie, Great Grandchildren).* When that story is told, they will describe a set of events. Then they will recount what happened after the first set of events. Each circumstance, each encounter, each feeling and action and lapse in judgment and moment of greatness will have a cause. And each will of course have an effect. In the story that someone tells about me many years from now with a young person on his or her knee, she will talk about the way my life unfolded; and in that context, everything will have happened for a reason, and therefore does.

So I’ve been thinking about that, and contemplating the sometimes negative view of my current situation. I think I may be having a little more of a difficult time with the change of scenery than a lot of people might, just because I was so accustomed to being surrounded by many people. I suspect that everyone who finds himself alone in a new place thinks the same thing, so I don’t know if that’s valid or not.

What I do know from considering these questions is that there may be opportunity in being alone. I had several habits when I lived in Athens that, quite frankly, were perpetuated by being surrounded by people and being busy all of the time (For the record, I still don’t have a decent perspective for what busy actually is.). There were also good habits that I had a difficult time getting into for the same reasons. The removal of myself from that situation, coupled with a little willpower, some good research, and a motivation that is solely internal could reap some pretty great results that might just make my life more effective, more enjoyable, and maybe even longer.

So the past week has been about improvement – about taking advantage of the fact that I am alone, the fact that no one who wants to be near me can be right now, and the fact that I have a decent amount of time on my hands. Hopefully, the next week will yield results as pleasing as this week’s.

I’m definitely not saying that I wouldn’t change my circumstances if I could. I would. But there is this nagging notion that says that I’m not really ready for circumstances to be any different than they are right now. And the only obvious thing for me to do is to take advantage of the way things are. Maybe the next effect in this story will be better than I could have written myself. Maybe it won’t.

*Side note: In the 04 band video, Jim Black accompanied game day with the Se@l tune, “Waiting For You.” After watching that, I wished that I had thought to address this very subject with rookie band members. I think it’s an awesome thing to think about the history of the band waiting for a new member’s place in it. Oh well... too late for that now. UnLESS... (*thinking, but knowing that the people who would need to won't think the same thing*)