I think most people are probably aware of the practice of saying the words "in bed" after reading a fortune from a fortune cookie. I always thought this was silly, especially when one found lottery numbers inside ("what a winning hand....").
Nevertheless, I have realized that I have been doing something similar when talking to myself of late. You can try it too if you like. All you have to do is follow anything you say with the phrase "and no, that is not a euphemism for something." Examples might include the following:
- "I'm going to check the mail, and no, that is not a euphemism for something."
- "I'm going to take the kitty to the vet, and no, that is not a euphemism for something."
- "I'm going to go masturbate, and no, that is not a euphemism for something."
Aaaaaaaaaanyway. I'm going to my grandmother's house this afternoon for a few hours with the family. Then I feel a long, pensive, Yeah-I-started-reading-it-but-I-didn't-get-all-the-way-through-it kind of entry coming on.
And no....
5 comments:
I always heard that you followed up fortune cookies with "... in bed with a monkey doggy style" I guess I have disturbed friends... Or at least a disturbed monkey. and no, that is not a euphemism for something.
My fortune tonight said, "You will become a great entertainer [in bed]," which I found ironic.
sorry you missed vegas. there may be another trip in december. maybe then you can join us in the big V (and no, that's not a euphemism for something...)
My two latest fortunes have been "Flattery will go far tonight" and "Your love life will be happy and harmonious." The "in bed" part just seemed redundant and, as it turns out, totally inaccurate. And I wish that was a euphemism for something.
The last one I got was delightfully cryptic:
"Keep your plans secret."
Guess I've something up my sleeve, and yes, that is a euphemism for something.
Post a Comment