Wednesday, April 02, 2008

An Old Day

If you could see me now, you would so assume that I am forty years my senior. Emotionally, that's probably actually true.

After spending most of my day on my taxes (Owed over $1000... ouch...), bitching about my taxes, and scouting my trip tomorrow, things finally settled down enough for dinner. Meghan made these Ranch Chicken Nuggets, which were tremendous, and tremendously difficult to make - so difficult in fact that she swore that she would never make them again, because Rachel Ray made them seem easier than they really were. I think I calmed Meghan's relative anger when I reminded her that Rachel Ray was a bitch.

We ate dinner while, at my insistence, watching Wheel of Fortune. I griped several times with language that sounded something like, "You know, Wheel of Fortune has really gone downhill." Wow. After that we watched Jeopardy!, which would already make me seem old. Add to this the fact that I DVR it nightly, and I include the exclamation point when writing the title, and you are once again reminded of how effing old I am. Also, I bitched about "damn Japanese" technology when the DVR did not work as expected. (For the record, the DVR is a Motorola, based in the Far East city of Schaumburg, Illinois.)

Meghan, who had appeared to be wandering harmlessly on the internet, audibly uttered the word "Dude" when she ran across this. I noted its extremely low price, and we discovered that we shared a longstanding desire to own one.

Upon entering the Target we walked immediately to the foot care aisle, where we did not find The Item. What we did find were these:



I was on 'em like Metamucil on Wilford Brimley's Quaker Oats. I did correctly assert that they might relieve my feet which had been killing me on my recent trips, and that the ten-day itinerary would be no kinder to me than the previous jaunts had been. But still. Age can be so repellin'.

I will update you on the gellin' experience as it develops.

After buying two sets of these, along with a new pair of black shoes and an inflatable foot bath (they were out of the bubbly kind), we headed back home. On the way, we discussed a future that would not include either of the two Charles Nelson Reilly couches in my den - not only because they're tacky, but also because they are broken. Also, my labored walk through Target suggests that they're making my back stiff as well.

When we arrived home, I anxiously installed my gel soles, and put a heating pad on my back. After Meghan broke it in, she brought me the foot bath, half-filled with warm soapy water. Shortly following that, she brought me a Dr. Pepper float.

A cane and a Geritol would wrap the day up nicely.

3 comments:

Russell said...

I didn't think senior citizens had to pay taxes on their Social Security income.

Chris said...

If it makes you feel better I have been gellin' for a few weeks now and as much as their commercials annoy me I can see where they are coming from. After a long game of racquetball I could barely walk the next morning. Monika even commented that I was walking like an old man.

I asked my doctor and he quickly whipped off his shoes to show me he was gellin'. That night I bought my first set. Since I started wearing them, the grass is a little greener, the sun a little brighter, and there is a spring in my step.

I can't help you on the Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy thing. I used to watch wheel and feel like a genius. Then I would watch Jeopardy and feel like an idiot. I get enough of that in my day to day life without having to introduce it at home.

--C

That guy said...

I swear by the gellin' inserts. It used to kill my feet having to walk around in a suit as much as I do, but they were so fantastic that I got a set for my regular shoes, too.

I'm also a huge Jeopardy! dork, for what it's worth. I think that's more a sign of general social awkwardness than age.