So, today (12/1) was my birthday. Yay. Late last night, I wrote a parody of “When I’m 64” but I pulled it at about 6am ET, for fear that anyone who might have forgotten the day might see this as a veiled attempt to publicize the day.
In the mean time, I have received no less than 60 IM’s, emails, Facebook messages, and phone calls to wish me well. Those who forgot were way more apologetic than necessary, and those who remembered were way too kind. I… well, I pretty much laid around and did nothing all day.
In an effort not to rob the world of useful parody, I have decided to repost last night’s entry. Hope you enjoy. And if you didn’t know, buy me something nice, and see if I remember yours. I’m horrible. In fact, comment with your birthday, so those in the blogosphere who care for you by way of ones and zeroes can wish you happy birfday. Enjoy.
When I get older
Devoid of hair
Twice as old as now
Will you still be humping me on Valentine’s
Hiding all my bottles of wine
If I’d come home
With my women friends
Who really were whores
Would you still love me
Lying above me
When I’m 64
Aaaaaaah.
You’ll be older too.
Aaaaaaah, and if you say the word
I could lay on you.
I could be handy
Watching the tube
When your urge is gone
We could watch the bulldogs by the ocean side
Take my Harley
Go for a ride
Poisoning my mistress
Smoking my weed
Who could ask for more
Though you might strike me
Will you still like me
When I’m 64
Every summer we could rent a woman on the first of June
She will cook and clean
It’s my half birthday
Ahhhh and if you don’t like her
She won’t have to stay
Send me an ointment
Drop by the home
Force me to eat fruit
Check up on my fiber and triglycerides
Sneak me in some foods that are fried
Give me a back rub
Spike my IV
Pick at my bed sores
Girl will you hate me
Or stimulate me
When I’m 64
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6 comments:
God that's hysterical. Sorry I was one of the slackers- happy birthday, man. No gift, I'm cheap. It'd be liquor anyway. I'll buy you a drink next time you are here and we are near a bar.
...and from the room where they'll be locking the Dymentia-Ridden-but-somehow-still ambulatory, You'll hear me say: It's time for my sponge bath...where the hell is my Viagra?? Happy Day, young coot.
...01/13
happy birthday! and that's the funniest song ever!!
you know, i actually do celebrate my half birthday...
Nice parody. Had me cracking up in my cubicle. If this whole Nashville thing doesn't pan out, maybe you could buy an accordian and go the 'Weird Al' route...
I particularly enjoyed the 'pick at my bedsores' line. Lovely complement to my breakfast.
As far as my birthday, you've got a solid 7 and a half months. I'll let facebook handle it.
HUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUG.
Happy Birfday, Brett!!!
Yeah, so I haven't checked my facebook in like... forever. But anyway, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
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