Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Faking it and doing so very well

I made myself a couple of promises on the way back into town on Sunday. These two promises were:

1. I was going to do something about my real intended career as soon as possible.
2. I was going to get out of the house and “get out there” as Bowling Green told me I needed to do.

I did both of those things tonight, and it has made the world seem like less of a tunnel than it did just days ago. In one moment that was particularly important to me, I was sitting on the porch of a pretty significant music establishment with several people that I really didn’t know (at least two of whom have written tunes that many of you know by heart). I felt that old shyness, that belief that everyone was wondering what I was doing there. In what I guess was a moment of decision, I felt myself becoming emotional at “not fitting” in.

It was then that I realized that I was either going to try to fit in and be rejected or accepted, or that I could go home and watch TV by myself. I chose the former… totally faked it, smiled, acted confident and happy in the moment, found something to laugh about. Though the effect didn’t kick in right away, by the end of dinner at 11:30 tonight, the known factors at the table were looking inquisitively in my direction, and finally couldn’t help but break into my conversation and ask, “What are y’all talking about?”

Perhaps this could become a habit.

3 comments:

Whitney said...

Don't we all fake our way through the day, to some extent? Congratulations on doing it well.

That guy said...

Being able to fake it and fake it well is a highly under-rated skill. Use it well now, and eventually you won't have to.

And if you have any tips for faking it well, feel free to share.

Whitney said...

also, a successful songwriter (for the likes of Sara Evans and Keith Urban), wrote about just this sort of thing. "there are nights I own this town. most nights it owns me" the song is called "making it up as I go along"