Tonight I heard my friend and undergrad-next-door-neighbor play this with them. He hasn't changed since college.

Very bluntly...

Not to be mopey, but I suddenly find myself in that spot where I'm looking around me and realizing that what I'm doing is not working. It's been a rough week, and I'm beginning to understand why so few people move here and attempt to do this. I'll dig out of this, but I really need something good to happen soon. Think good thoughts if you don't mind.

I'm ready for Thanksgiving.

Damn

What a game. We obviously had our problems, but I don't remember being quite this proud after a loss in some time.

For the rest of the night:

Gators wear Jean Shorts!
Go Cocks!
Sooners Suck!
Go Dawgs!

What "Go Gators" Really Means

HatTip: WDH via DawgRun.

I'm picking out a Thermos for you. Not an ordinary Thermos for you. But the extra best Thermos that you can buy, with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in. - Mr. Steve Martin, The Jerk

Random Weekend Thoughts

- It sounds to me, in the song "(I've Had) The Time of My Life", as though there are about nine lead vocalists at different points in the song.

- Pizza Hut needs to pick, say, three types of pizza and stick with them.

- I don't think the word "biopic" should be a word, and I really don't think it should be used in legitimate press (sic) articles. Also, I think it should be hyphenated, because it looks to me (and is thus interpreted to sound) like the word "bionic," which should be a word.

- Memo to the 2% of people at the Georgia game last Saturday who booed MoMass:

Please shut the hell up or quit coming to Georgia games. When you cheer the next time we win a championship, I'm going to vomit all over your trailer and your 1986 TransAm.

Thanks,

Brett

Because I hate it when someone solicits my advice and then goes in a direction other than the one I recommended without explanation, the following are my verdict and some of the reasons why.

I'm going to Athens...

1. Because the end of Funkle is a bigger deal to me than might seem apparent for a number of reasons.
2. Because I have a meeting in Gainesville on Monday.
3. Because to change course and tell my mom I'm coming to Gatlinburg could put her in the position of doing a lot of work to accomodate me at the last minute.
4. Because I will see my folks in a couple of weeks due to an event that I will tell you about when I can.

Thanks for the advice. Go Dawgs.

Munson in Nashville

You may or may not know that Larry Munson was the play-by-play announcer for Vanderbilt University for many years before moving to Georgia. In fact, even after moving to Athens, he continued to do a fishing show from Nashville for many years.

You may also not know that there are some very strong UGA connections in Nashville broadcasting like this one and this one.

The second of those connections recently interviewed Larry for a weekly sports show that plays here in Nashville. It was a 45-minute interview - the longest interview I have ever seen with Larry. It was absolutely stellar, and one of the most interesting UGA-related interviews that I remember. How cool to sit in Nashville and see that, especially immediately following the events of the last two weeks.

PS - I haven't decided yet.

Tell Me What to Do

I was supposed to have judged this coming weekend at this event. I learned today (which is unacceptably late by the way) that the event has been cancelled.

Georgia plays Mississippi State in football this weekend, and it is the penultimate home game of this season. Plus, the last performance of the Funkles will be taking place this weekend as well. The logistics of a trip to Athens are more complicated than usual this time.

My parents have rented a cabin in Gatlinburg for the weekend as well, and invited me some time back. I had to turn them down due to my gig, but now I don't have the gig.

So, you tell me what to do. Should I:

A. Go to Athens and find a way to make the logistics work?
B. Go to Gatlinburg, knowing that I will only see one more Georgia game in person this year?
C. Stay in Nashville and not spend money, not drink to excess, not eat like shit, and sleep in my own bed?

Opine, please.

Dress Yourself in Red and Black

I'm back in the land of surprise divorces after an extended game weekend.

Three highlights, beyond the great company, which is a given.

1. Saturday's gameday experience, with the exception of the loss, was as perfect as any I have ever had. I rode into town with R and E from Marietta that morning. This was only the second time that I have made the trek from out of town on a gameday. The first time was my freshman year.

I pregamed the exact right amount, and thus was feeling exceptionally good (yet inside my wits) for kickoff. I got a great ticket (40-or-so-yard line, alumni side, 16 rows up) next to two great old friends. The weather was perfect for a sweatshirt for the first quarter and perfect for a t-shirt after that. I had both. I could see the game and worry about that and nothing else, which I did.

That night, of course, I medicated the loss with dear friends as is documented here. It was awesome.

2. Russ and Tony mention an appearance by David Sedaris, tickets for which Russ was kind enough to provide free of charge. He is one of my favorite writers, and Russ was cool enough to take my copy of one of his books and get it signed at the end of the night. While Russ did this, I went and sat on his couch, drank his whiskey, and hung out with his wife.

At night's end, Russ explained to the author that I had been at the show, but had to leave. Then he asked if he would sign my book. The author's response: "Well, f*@k him for leaving." Then he signed the book as you can see below.



I'm still kinda giggling, but wishing I had been there to hear it... er...

My beaten license plate

I have a Georgia Super G license plate on the front of my SUV. I had a wreck a couple of years ago and severely bent and scratched the plate. With a little help from my brother, we made some basic repairs to it and then put it back on the car. Over time, the replacement paint we used has chipped and a crack has become noticeable.

I am sure there are some people who are bothered by the fact that I haven't replaced one of the symbols of our school with a plate that is in good shape. I have thought more than once about shelling out a few bucks and doing that. It occurs to me frequently, however, that there is a sad reason that some of the shiny, new "G" plates have been cropping up on cars the last few years. I leave my beaten up plate on my car as proof of the fact that I didn't begin liking Georgia just last week, and as a suggestion that I won't be converting to the flavor of the week when fortunes change.

I hate losing, and I really hate losing games that we are expected to win. I get mad when our team and coaches do things with which I disagree, and I sometimes vocalize my disappointment when those things happen (ie - Why do we line up in an I with no wide receivers on third and long?). I often find myself unsatisfied with the answers that our coaching staff gives for our mishaps of late. I am not sure that the personnel we have in place are the ones that give us the best chance to win. I share the confusion that a lot of people have about where we are right now.

However...

None of us is in a position to know what needs to happen right now. If our head coach had misgivings about the service being provided by our defensive coordinator, he wouldn't be telling us about it. He shouldn't be telling us about it. He should be publicly supportive and defend the man who I am quite sure is doing everything he can to correct the problems that have arisen lately. He should publicly make every reasonable excuse for him, and present every reason imaginable that he shouldn't be going anywhere.

And in private he should be managing things the way he knows to manage them. Perhaps there are knock-down-drag-out discussions taking place about the problems that are plaguing us. Perhaps there is a gut feeling in our head coach's stomach that he is going to be forced to make a personnel change at the end of the season. Perhaps he knows that the talent level with which our defensive coordinator is working is unusually low. He certainly can't say so out loud if any of these things are the case. There can be no "Playoffs?"-esque hissy fits or public executions. The only choice he has is to take responsibility for our problems and move on with the season. If he gets to a time and situation in which he decides that he can and should make a change, I am quite sure he will.

I can guarantee two things about our head coach:

1. He wants to win more than any of his critics.
2. He knows more about football than any of his critics.

Those fans who are demanding the heads of coaches in the middle of a rough spot have no understanding of personnel management. Those fans who are proclaiming the end of our season when we are 5-2 are of a disgustingly childish brand of quitter. Those fans who boo our players and coaches are spoiled ingrates.

When we lost to Tennessee in 2004, I thought carefully about what to say to the band. It has been recently brought to my attention that the phrase I gave them was resurrected last week, and I think it bears sharing with anyone who cares about our school and our brand of football. The reminder is, "You're still from Georgia, and they're still not."

No one enjoys losing. But the ones who are genuinely Georgia People are also the ones who are capable of putting a loss or a disappointing season in the context of the wonderful blessed totality of being a Georgia Person. And the ones who are screaming and crying are posers and johnny-come-lately's who I'll bet have shiny new "G" plates on their cars.

And I'll furthermore bet that they been tempted by that flat-head screwdriver since the minute they got home last night.

Niiiiiiice

Tonight's trip from Nashville to Marietta, which would normally take 3.5 hours, took 5 hours 15 minutes. The Tennessee Department of Transportation is as potent as me in bed with a bearded lady at the end of a two week Jack bender.

There is lots on my mind. But…

• I don’t know that any of it is worthy of one big entry, and…
• I don’t feel like using bullets.

So, I’m going to pretend that each of you just asked me, “What’s up?” and that we already got through the pleasantries and into the meat of the conversation.

Oh! I’m going to Georgia tomorrow. The plans include poker on Thursday, drinks with an old friend on Friday, Homecoming game and more football on Saturday, a meeting and a cool show on Sunday, and a return trip here on Monday. The only thing that bums me about this trip is that I won’t be spending much time in Athens or at Homecoming. I think it’s the best thing right now though. There is enough going on in Athens without me showing up drunk at the wrong place and wrong time. On a lighter note, however, my drink of choice this weekend will be Jack and Dr. Pepper. I haven’t had this in a long time.

Next, I will pretend that you asked me, “Well, what’s been going on?” and that I already said the obligatory, “Oh, not much,” thought about it, and then began to speak.

Last Saturday I judged a show here in Nashville. I completely missed the game, though I sorta look like the smart one in hindsight, huh? I heard some good bands and, um, developed some new professional relationships. I also had some gin after the show, and I wasn’t mean at all.

This week I did more of the whole ballroom dancing thing. I think I may be able to retain most of my cynicism while still learning how to do this. I'm sure it can only be good for me. I’m also sure that in two months I will feel very dirty about this whole thing.

I also watched The Godfather (amazing) and Cold Mountain (really… some people think Southerners sound like that?).

Lastly, I will pretend that you asked me, “What’s been on your mind?” and that I have already said, “You know. The usual,” and then gotten to the point.

Well, you know the news bums me out, and that the potential for negative events really bums me out. This obviously hasn’t been a great week for someone who doesn’t care for negativity.

I have been reading a little bit of Vonnegut lately, thanks to Trina. The author and I really don’t share beliefs or ways of thinking about things, but I think it’s usually healthy to consider more ways of thinking about things than one’s own. There is a moment in this book that makes sense to me when I get pissed or depressed about the state of the world. It sounds a little fatalist, but I don’t think that’s the intent. It certainly isn’t the way I choose to believe it:

As a younger man, Trout would have sneered at the sign about brotherhood – posted on the rim of a bomb crater, as anyone could see. But his head no longer sheltered ideas of how things could be and should be on the planet, as opposed to how they really were. There was only one way for the Earth to be, he thought: the way it was.

Everything was necessary. He saw an old white woman fishing through a garbage can. That was necessary. He saw a bathtub toy, a little rubber duck, lying on its side on the grating over a storm sewer. It had to be there.

And so on. – Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

I suppose it’s not that you shouldn’t try to make things right. It’s just that I think you have to deal with what things are before you attempt to do anything about them.

Perhaps another way of saying that is that – no matter how hard one might try to make it so - the future is not a version of the past.

Sorry for the depth or the bullshit – whichever one you think it is.

You tell 'em, Sonny.

Just damn.

I never do this, and I know no one will see this before the game. But I think if we score 17, we win (knocks on wood).

Can you tell I'm nervous? Ow, my stomach. Ow. Ow.

You should most definitely not be dancing

Four things:

• I wrote this ginormous entry about the subject matter of bullet #2. I read it, and hated it. So I deleted 98% of it, and now offer the muts and dolts.

• I was dragged kicking and screaming to a ballroom dance class tonight. You may know that there are two reasons that I don't dance. The first is that it is impossible to simultaneously dance and be cynical, and I value my cynicism very highly. The second is that I think dancing is stupid. Nevertheless, I had a moderately enjoyable time and will probably go back. Tomorrow.

It's still stupid though.

• Today in the shower, I was thinking about how some people I know might describe themselves as they think others see them in one sentence. I decided that my sentence might be He is, on one hand, perhaps the most cynical and troubled person I know; and on the other, he is alarmingly normal. Just my take.

Short football post...

Guys, (I sound like Trimmer!!!) I am worried about us this weekend. It isn't really even Tennessee that's worrying me. They are beatable.

I don't like feeling like our heads are down. I don't like the unusually vitrolic conflict on the message boards. I don't like that our team doesn't seem to have "a face" five games into the season.

And mostly, I don't like missing the expletive Tennessee game to make a measly $300 but I need to do it. I think the crowd is the difference in this game, and in fact could create a turning point for this team.

If you're going to be there, promise me you'll do something about it?

A cousin of Mr. Dumas

Check out the name of the county clerk.

Gin makes me mean.