A dear friend was at my house the other night and commented on the relative cleanliness of my kitchen, which those of you who know me know is monumental. If cleanliness is next to Godliness, then I'm pretty much in hell. She made a comment to the effect that this might mean I don't cook that often. I shook my head, said "Yeah, I guess you're right," and thought no more of it.
I was cleaning my kitchen tonight, which those of you who know me know is monumental. For some reason, I felt the need to make her statement seem more profound... to sort of immortalize her observation and turn an off-hand comment about a room in my apartment into a report on the human condition.
Why? I dunno. It's not like we don't have a wealth of correct and flat-out wrong wisdom from the last several thousand years of human existence. I'm not exactly Confucius. But I did it anyway. Funny how when you listen to it but don't try to read too much into it, it sounds profound. But when you truly identify the meaning of the quote, it really adds absolutely nothing to the collective wisdom of our culture.
So here's the quote: "Clean kitchens tend to be quiet kitchens."
What? Clean kitchens tend to what? Who gives a damn what clean kitchens tend to be? That's not exactly "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" or "You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do" or "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." But I did it, and I can't undo it.
So I think it would be a worthy waste of time for you to submit your own quotes. Preferably these quotes should mean nothing. But they should sound like you have two doctorates in particularly deep sub-disciplines of philosophy.
So please submit your quote by commenting on this entry. Quotes will be adjudicated one the basis of 1) profundity of sound and 2) absence of meaning. The winner will get the satisfaction of winning, unless she is cute and single in which case the details can be worked out later.
Until next time, keep in mind, "The best things in life are the things we remember."
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"The idle thumb is oft the rectum-buried thumb."
When people thought the Earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought the Earth was spherical they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the Earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the Earth is flat, then your view is wronger than both of them put together.
"If I only had a nickle for every dime I've had."
"There's a fine line between sayings that make sense."
"Where ever you go, there you are"
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