Latex

I had the scare of my life tonight. Not at the doctor or driving south on I-85 through downtown. At, of all places, Six Flags. That *%$&ing Acrophobia thing literally scared the air out of me. I made the strangest noise as the thing dropped. It was pretty cool. Many neat times with great people. I hope I never lose that.

As promised, below are the visual elements of the latex story. It seems that Megan J., one of our drum majors and a very cool woman, has this thing for decorating Kish’s office with balloons… over 700 to be exact. When he announced his departure, Megan once again had an excuse. She filled his office to a significant height with balloons.

Kish, never the one to absorb all of the pain for a given situation, chose to “share the wealth.” So he and several others opened his door and shoved the balloons into my office, as seen in example 4.30a


Example 4.30a


Wishing not to be the last to suffer this harsh injustice (and not to be the one who had to dispose of all of the bladders), I had to do something. So, Trey and Chris began helping me transport these balloons into FDR’s office. As his office is of significantly lower volume than mine, we were soon presented with the problem of balloons falling out of the door as we loaded more into the room.

Trey and Chris naturally solved the problem quickly: load the balloons through the ceiling. Into the vestibule came the tallest band ladder. Chris, who obviously has a background in facilities maintenance, removed a single ceiling tile each from the office and the vestibule. I climbed the ladder, and was handed a giganticous garbage bag full of balloons that had been retrieved from my office. I carefully held close the edges of the open end of the bag and forced the closed end through the hole in the ceiling. Then I moved the bag over the hole in the office ceiling and released the balloons into his office. I continued receiving and emptying bags until my accomplices were forced to attend class. Then I continued by myself. The result can be found in the photo shot from the ladder in example 4.30b. Please note that this picture is in focus and was shot with a steady hand. If is does not appear this way to you, you must still be drunk.

Example 4.30b


Unfortunately, FDR returned from lunch early to find me ladder-bound with a guilty look on my face and holding a bag through the whole in the ceiling. When he opened the door, the result was as found in example 4.30c, accompanied by his gracious pose. Please note that you are no longer intoxicated.

Example 4.30c


All in a day’s work.

A very dear friend informed me today that her mother can burp the alphabet. When I asked how she learned to do that, she said that her original training was in speech pathology and that this was a necessary skill for that field. I am considering a career change.