Love, whatever that means

I feel neither qualified nor in my place to detail the course of events that has caused my very dear friend to be in pain. But it does bring to mind a question of syntax that has often bugged me.

There is a commercial that has been playing for some time that uses the Nazareth song "Love Hurts" as it's background music. I think the statement "Love Hurts" is untrue, unless one has unfortunate wounds in unfortunate places or fails to stretch adequately from time to time. Can love be tough or difficult? Perhaps, or perhaps it is not love but the results or the periphery of love that are actually difficult.

I think many people mistake the act of love (which in it's purest form is a decision, not an act, an emotion, or anything uncontrollable) for the subject of love. Love is not difficult, in fact it is quite easy. It might be hard to show it, express it, prove it, get it back from someone to whom you give it, or endure it's consequences. But it is quite easy to simply love. Love itself doesn't really hurt, in fact it feels quite nice... so much so that some of us do it without really thinking about the consequences (which often do hurt). Tough love is not love at all. It is actually a tough result of love, and often a tough thing to watch, endure, or inflict... but it is most certainly not love.

And unfortunately, we all endure a very, very, very difficult consequence of love at some point in our lives. It is not love that causes this: it is the periphery, the loved, or the great equation that is fate/reality that does. And it is most certainly no cause to be sorry that we have loved or to even think of not loving again.

Knowing that everyone has to deal with it doesn't make the pain any more palatable. And for the record, the second-worst-thing to being in love-related pain is knowing that someone you love is in it and that there isn't a damned thing you can do to fix it.

Many splendored? Perhaps not. But probably worth it when you cash in your chips.